You know that moment when your toddler throws their teddy across the room because they wanted the blue cup, not the red one? Or when your little one bursts into tears because their tower of blocks came tumbling down? Big emotions, little bodies.
Emotional intelligence isnât something kids are magically born with itâs something they learn, one meltdown at a time. And guess what? We, their parents, are their first teachers.
I remember reading You Are Your Childâs First Teacher, and it hit me kids donât just need us to tell them how to handle feelings, they need us to show them the emotional intelligence with which they can deal with life. Through small, everyday habits, we can help them understand emotional intelligence, express themselves, and grow into kind, empathetic humans using parenting techniques.
So, letâs dive into 10 daily habits that make a difference.
1. Name Those Big Feelings
Kids feel everything but they donât always know what theyâre feeling. Thatâs where we come in.
đ Try this:
âď¸ Instead of âStop crying, itâs nothing!â, say âI see youâre upset because your toy broke. Thatâs really frustrating, isnât it?â
âď¸ Instead of âYouâre fine!â, say âI know that fall scared you. Do you want a hug?â
đ Mom Take: I used to think saying âItâs okayâ would help my son move on quickly. But once I started naming his emotional intelligence, he stopped crying faster because he felt understood.
2. Show, Donât Just Tell
Little eyes are watching everything. How we react to stress teaches them how to handle their own.
đ Try this:
âď¸ Instead of snapping when you spill coffee, say âOops! Iâm frustrated, but Iâll take a deep breath and clean it up.â
âď¸ Instead of saying âCalm down!â, sit with them and say âLetâs take a deep breath together.â
đ Mom Take: One day, I was overwhelmed and sighed loudly. My son looked up and sighed too. They copy EVERYTHING. So now, I try to model emotional control.
3. Teach the Magic of “Pause”
Ever seen a kid lose it over one missing puzzle piece? Impulse control is tough! But pausing before reacting is a game-changer.
đ Try this:
âď¸ When theyâre mad, say âLetâs pause and count to five before we react.â
âď¸ Use a fun trick âSmell the flower, blow out the candleâ (inhale deeply, exhale slowly).
đ Mom Take: One time, I caught my son pausing on his own before reacting. Instead of throwing his toy, he took a breath. My heart exploded with pride!
4. Let Them Solve Their Own Problems
Itâs so tempting to swoop in and fix everything, but kids need to struggle a little to grow.
đ Try this:
âď¸ Instead of fixing the puzzle for them, ask âWhat do you think will work?â
âď¸ Instead of jumping in during sibling fights, guide with âHow can we solve this together?â
đ Mom Take: You Are Your Childâs First Teacher says kids build confidence by trying and failing. And wow, is it hard to watch them struggle! But when my son finally figured out his puzzle alone, his huge grin said it all.
5. Make Feelings a Dinner Table Topic
Normalize talking about emotions like itâs the weather no shame, no judgment.
đ Try this:
âď¸ Ask, âWhat made you happy today?â
âď¸ Ask, âDid anything make you sad or mad?â
âď¸ Share your own feelings too!
đ Mom Take: One night, I casually said, âI felt sad today because I missed Grandma.â My son immediately hugged me. They listen more than we think.
6. Play “Emotion Charades”
Make emotions fun and familiar! Turn it into a game.
đ Try this:
âď¸ Make faces happy, sad, mad and let them guess the emotion.
âď¸ Use dolls or stuffed animals to act out feelings.
đ Mom Take: Once, my son made a âfrustratedâ face so exaggerated, I couldnât stop laughing. But guess what? He nailed the concept of emotional intelligence.
7. Let Them Have Their Tantrums (Yes, Really!)
Feelings arenât the enemy stuffing them down is.
đ Try this:
âď¸ Instead of âStop crying!â, say âI know this is hard. Iâm here.â
âď¸ Create a cozy âcalm downâ space with pillows and books.
đ Mom Take: You Are Your Childâs First Teacher reminds us that kids need to express emotional intelligence to process them. Iâve learned to let my son cry it out in a safe space and guess what? His meltdowns end faster.
8. Say “Thank You” for Kindness
Want to raise empathetic, kind kids? Show them their kindness matters.
đ Try this:
âď¸ When they share, say âThat was so kind of you!â
âď¸ When they help, say âThank you for helping! That made my day easier.â
đ Mom Take: One day, my son said âThank you for making my snack, Mama.â I almost cried. Gratitude is contagious. Emotional Intelligence was playing its role.
9. Read Books About Feelings
Books are magic windows into emotions.
đ Try this:
âď¸ Read books like The Color Monster (feelings in colors!).
âď¸ Use stories to ask, âHow do you think the character felt?â
đ Mom Take: The first time my son saw a sad character and said, âHe looks lonely,â I knew our reading habit was working positively shaping his emotional intelligence.
10. Hug It Out A LOT
Physical connection = emotional security.
đ Try this:
âď¸ Offer hugs when theyâre upset.
âď¸ Snuggle during bedtime chats.
đ Mom Take: Whenever my son feels overwhelmed, he climbs onto my lap. No words needed. Hugs heal.
Final Thoughts
Teaching emotional intelligence isnât about big lessons itâs about small, daily habits. Every time we pause, listen, and validate our childâs feelings, weâre shaping them into someone who can handle lifeâs ups and downs with strength and kindness.
And the best part? Weâre learning right alongside them. đ
Have any of these habits worked for you? Letâs chat in the comments! đ










